Courtney
I know that you have heard this story before ......
Anybody that knows me knows that I am not one to celebrate days or times or seasons. But this is a day in my life that I will not and cannot ever forget.
32 years ago, January 20, 1980 I was publicly baptized in water in a little church in Erie, Pa.
I remember earnestly praying in the days leading up to this event in my life: "O God, please take away the fear of speaking of all the good that you have done for me. Please help me to be a bold witness of all that you have done for me." I was nervous. I prayed. I went down into the water. I raised my hands in victory as the waters washed away my fear.
Water baptism was a life changing event in my life. But actually it was an exclamation point on the baptism that the Father had begun a few months earlier. Before I went down in the water 32 years ago, I remember thinking "I have already been baptized." In less than 3 months alcohol was gone from my life. Nicotine addiction was shattered. I was given a new life. Born again. I will never forget this day of history in my life.
Very late one night in October of 1979, as I laid flat on my back, drunk and depressed and at the end of myself, I cried. I cried and then I cried out to the God of heaven: "Here I am God. I am all alone. Nobody knows my pain. Nobody cares. All my friends are gone. My family has sent me away. I need to know that you are there. I need to know that you care. I need to know that you love me. If you are there, then show me." Then, at that moment, a peace came over me. I felt a gentle breeze blowing over me. In an instant, as though a dam had burst in my heart, I was flooded with a love and a joy and a peace like I have never experienced before. I know now that it was the power of the Highest overshadowing me. I rode this wave of love until it stopped. The depression had departed. The effects of alcohol were gone. I fell to sleep in peace. A few nights later, perhaps the next night, as I once again watered my pillow with my tears, I cried out in desperation to the God of heaven: "God, if that was you the other night, show me again."
The only way I can describe it is "gentle power". The breeze blew over me, the floodgates of my heart burst open, and the power of love flowed from deep within my soul. When it ended, I sat up in my bed. "I am not drunk any more! How can this be?!" I looked up and prayed; "I don't know what it's going to take to find you. I don't know what it's going to take to get to you. But I will never give up."
Water baptism was a life changing event in my life. But actually it was an exclamation point on the baptism that the Father had begun a few months earlier. Before I went down in the water 32 years ago, I remember thinking "I have already been baptized." In less than 3 months alcohol was gone from my life. Nicotine addiction was shattered. I was given a new life. Born again. I will never forget this day of history in my life.
Very late one night in October of 1979, as I laid flat on my back, drunk and depressed and at the end of myself, I cried. I cried and then I cried out to the God of heaven: "Here I am God. I am all alone. Nobody knows my pain. Nobody cares. All my friends are gone. My family has sent me away. I need to know that you are there. I need to know that you care. I need to know that you love me. If you are there, then show me." Then, at that moment, a peace came over me. I felt a gentle breeze blowing over me. In an instant, as though a dam had burst in my heart, I was flooded with a love and a joy and a peace like I have never experienced before. I know now that it was the power of the Highest overshadowing me. I rode this wave of love until it stopped. The depression had departed. The effects of alcohol were gone. I fell to sleep in peace. A few nights later, perhaps the next night, as I once again watered my pillow with my tears, I cried out in desperation to the God of heaven: "God, if that was you the other night, show me again."
The only way I can describe it is "gentle power". The breeze blew over me, the floodgates of my heart burst open, and the power of love flowed from deep within my soul. When it ended, I sat up in my bed. "I am not drunk any more! How can this be?!" I looked up and prayed; "I don't know what it's going to take to find you. I don't know what it's going to take to get to you. But I will never give up."
I love God. I love everything about him. I want to be like him: that is a constant struggle in my life. I strive to know him. I strive to hear his voice. I strive to carry out his will in my life.
Courtney, watching the Father baptize you in the same spirit that washed me makes my heart sing songs of thanks and joy and praise to him!
Keep seeking.
Keep striving.
Never give up. Never Never Never Give up.
I love you.
Dad.
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